Chained Together
by distantmuse
Summary: In this twist on the riot, Taystee handcuffs Fig and Caputo together and locks them in a storage closet until they can get along...
1. Chapter 1

_This was originally going to be a longer one-shot, but I found myself changing tone in here and there, so I decided to make it a series of shorter chapters._

* * *

"This is ALL your fucking fault."

"My fault?"

"Taystee told us to stop arguing, and you couldn't just shut your mouth." Joe growled. "You had to get the last word in."

Natalie and Joe stood in small utility closet. The door was locked, and they'd heard Taystee and Cindy push something against it. The strong, antiseptic scent of lemon cleaner that filled the room was already giving Natalie a slight headache; the only positive to it was that it helped mask the smell lingering on Joe's clothes from his trip to the "Poo." The room had a shelf with a few bottles of various cleaners, a mop and a broom, and a utility sink. Only half of the lights worked, and water dripped from a leak in the ceiling.

Joe was just glad it wasn't the same storage closet they'd found Tricia dead in, or the one he'd caught Mendez fucking Daya in.

"Have you forgotten why I'm even here?" Natalie argued, exasperated. "Because the prison you are supposed to oversee started a fucking riot?"

"And you came in like Wonder Woman thinking you can fix everything."

"First of all, I would look fucking hot in that costume. Second, I was doing fine with negotiations before they let you out of the shitter." Natalie tried to storm to the corner of the closet but dragged Joe along with her.

She'd temporarily forgotten about the handcuffs that joined her left hand to his right.

"Fine for the inmates, or fine for the governor and MCC?" Joe retorted.

"I already told you that I don't give a _shit_ about MCC. Yes, I was working for the governor, but I was _trying_ to help those women." Natalie said sincerely. "I was trying to sort out what I thought could and couldn't be done for them."

Joe sighed. "Look, we have to stop fighting. If they hear us in here screaming at each other, they'll never let us out. That's what got us in here. She said she's leaving us in here until we can get along."

"We'll be dead before that happens."

"Fig…"

"Fine. Let's sit down then. We are going to be here for a while."

"We'll have to sit down together so we don't yank each other to the floor. Let's lean back against this wall." Joe pulled her over to the wall and they put their backs to it. "One, two, three."

Once they'd slid down the wall and sat down next to each other, Natalie tried to figure out what to do with her legs, first trying to curl them around her, then having them straight in front of her, then finally kicking off her high heels and putting her feet flat on the floor and her knees up. With her untethered hand, she desperately tried to pull her skirt down.

"What are you worried about?" Joe chuckled. "I'm the only one in here, and I've seen it up close and personal. Having me see you with your skirt yanked up to your waist isn't exactly new for you."

"Shut up, Joe." Natalie had busied herself with examining their handcuffs. She yanked at the chain joining them and tried to pull at the cuffs.

Joe was amused by her efforts. "I know you didn't take the CO pathway to your former position here like I did, but surely you know how handcuffs work."

"I'm just trying to…"

"No matter how much you pull and fiddle with them, they're not going to unlock. You're just hurting our wrists by yanking on them." Joe smirked. "You know… This isn't how I pictured you in handcuffs."

"I'm not sure if that's a sexual comment, or if you're reiterating that you wanted to see me go to jail."

Joe shrugged. "Either way, because I've pictured both."

"You're disgusting."

"So are you, if memory serves." Joe said with a knowing smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

They'd been locked up for about a half an hour when Joe jumped up suddenly, causing Natalie to stumble forward from the wall. He dragged her halfway across the room with him until he reached the utility sink.

"Ow! Damn it, Joe!" Natalie found her way to her feet and leaned down to rub her shins. "That fucking hurt."

"I'm sorry, but there's a sink." Joe said, turning it on so that the water streamed out of it.

"Obviously."

"So, there's water."

"I'm still leaning toward 'obviously.'"

"I haven't had water in hours." Joe yanked her hand into the utility sink with his as he cupped his hands to together to drink the water. "Do you want some?"

Natalie watched him with a wrinkled nose. "That sink is so dirty."

"I forgot that you only drink water when it comes in a bottle and with a 280,000 percent markup."

"The way that God intended."

"There's soap, too." Joe pointed out. "I might be able to clean up a bit."

Natalie perked up at that. Anything to help the smell. "Yes, let's get your clothes off and get you a whore's bath."

Joe smirked. "You just miss seeing me naked."

"We had sex the other day, remember?" Natalie scoffed.

"How am I going to get my shirt off?"

"Just rip it off. It's like a $5 undershirt." Natalie put her hand on one side of the v-neck of the shirt and Joe grabbed the other.

Together, they pulled until the shirt tore down the middle, then Natalie worked at ripping the sleeves, dragging his hand along with hers, so Joe could ease out of the stained, foul-smelling shirt.

"You said you didn't miss me, yet here you are ripping my clothes off." Joe smirked.

Natalie snorted, dropping the pieces of the shirt to the floor. "You're an ass."

Joe lathered his arms with the yellow soap from the pump dispenser. It didn't smell great, but it certainly smelled better than he did. Natalie helped him rub some soap on his chest and stomach. Without thinking, Joe vigorously splashed water on his arms and chest to rinse it off, pulling Natalie's arm into the sink with him and dousing the side of her with water.

Natalie shrieked in annoyance at her half-soaked shirt. "Could you maybe warn me next time before you go splashing around like you're the main attraction at Sea World?"

"Sorry." Joe was laughing and sounded anything but apologetic.

Natalie swiped some of the water from the sink and flung it into Joe's face. His jaw dropped in shock, and he threw water back at her, aiming it for her curls.

"Oh, you are going to regret that."

They continued to throw water back and forth at each other, shrieking and laughing, until Joe slipped backward on some of the water and crashed to the floor, with Natalie falling on top of him and landing on his chest.

"Ow. Fuck." Joe grunted.

Natalie was trying not to giggle. "I told you that you'd regret it."

"You're just trying to get on top of me."

Natalie quickly climbed off of him. "Don't flatter yourself."

"Do you want to help me wash what's under the boxers?" Joe waggled his eyebrows at her.

Natalie rolled her eyes.

"I think you can reach your own dick, Beer Can."


	3. Chapter 3

"Would you rather be stranded on a desert island or locked in this room with me?" Joe asked.

"Locked in this room with you." Natalie responded. "Would you rather have to eat Rocky Mountain Oysters or be locked in this room with me?"

"Aren't those cow balls?" Joe asked.

"Yep."

"I'll have to go with you. Would you rather be locked in this room with Gavin or me?"

Natalie slapped her hand to her heart in mock pain. "Ouch. You. How about me or the lunatic from earlier?"

"I'll take you. Again." Joe said without hesitating.

Natalie yawned. "Maybe we like each other more than we thought. I thought she was your girlfriend."

"I'd say she's the ex-girlfriend now, but yeah… Why, you jealous?" Joe raised his eyebrows.

"From what I saw?" Natalie snorted. "No, not really. Why didn't it work out?"

"She didn't give a fuck about any of the inmates." Joe sighed. "She's worked for MCC for years, and today was the first time she ever set foot in a prison."

"Jesus."

"Even though you're a bitch on wheels, I believe even you actually you cared about them at some point."

Natalie was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "I never actually stopped caring, but I stopped showing it or letting anyone know about it. It only fucked me over when they did. Believe it or not, I did think that Jason and I could fix the system if we got him in office. It was a 'the end justifies the means' kind of situation. But the system is fucked."

"Obviously. Just look at us now. Once we were in charge, and now we're POWs. And my back is fucking killing me." Joe grunted, arching his back.

"Whiner. Turn around."

Joe scooted around on the floor so that Natalie could awkwardly reach her free arm over her handcuffed one and press her fingers into his back. She firmly kneaded his skin under her hand, working to loosen the knots in his muscles.

"Damn, that feels good." Joe groaned.

Natalie chuckled. "That's usually how you respond when I'm touching something else."

"Well, now that you mention it…"

"Shut up, Joe."

* * *

"Did you ever think you'd end up alone?" Natalie suddenly asked, picking at her nails to avoid looking at him.

"No. Did you?"

Natalie shook her head. "Never."

Joe stretched his legs out in front of him with a sigh. "A long time back, my old girlfriend got pregnant with my bandmate's baby, and I skipped a tour to take a job as a CO and take care of her and the baby. I always thought we'd get married and have more kids, but… Instead, he got famous and she left me."

Natalie looked at him sympathetically. "That's fucking terrible. Maybe you really are a nice guy."

"Doubtful. You?"

"I guess I always saw myself in a big house in the suburbs with two kids and a Golden Retriever." Natalie sighed. "All I got out of that was the big house, and it just feels empty and lonely."

"Neither of us got what we expected."

"That's for damn sure. I didn't expect to find my husband making out with a man on the very same night that we tried to conceive for the first time. I also didn't expect to find out I actually did get pregnant only to miscarry a few weeks later." Natalie smudged her finger along her eyelashes to wipe away tears, laughing bitterly. "Jason doesn't even know."

"Jesus. Why didn't you tell him?"

"The campaign was wrapping up and everything was a whirlwind. I figured, what was the point?" Natalie paused. "This is pathetic, but, you're the only person I've told."

"I think Jason would want to know." Joe said gently. "Maybe you should think about telling him."

"There's no point now. He has a new life. But I really wanted to be a mom." Natalie said, with a wistful softness in her voice.

Joe really had no idea what to say to that. "It could still happen."

Natalie laughed bitterly. "I'd probably be better off going for the Golden Retriever at this point."

"It'd be more loyal than any human."

"True." Natalie sighed and rubbed her eyes with her free hand. "I'm fucking exhausted."

"Then take a nap. We've got nothing but time right now."

"I wish I knew what time it was. We should have put clocks in these closets."

"You can lean your head on me… If you want to."

Natalie's nose crinkled. "You still don't smell fantastic."

Joe shrugged. "Then go ahead and lay your head on concrete. It's no skin off my ass."

She glanced back at the cinder block wall and sighed, shifting until her head was tucked under Joe's chin, and her cheek was resting on his chest.

Joe laid his own head against hers, half expecting her to tense up or pull away, but she didn't. His nose caught a whiff of her curls. One of her 10,000 hair products had a coconut scent, and her hair always smelled amazing; it was one of his favorite things about her (though if asked, he would come up with a dozen things he hated about her to counteract each thing he liked). With his nose by her hair, he tried to inhale slowly and quietly to enjoy the intoxicating smell again.

But he got caught.

"Did you just smell my hair?" Natalie asked in an amused tone.

Joe was glad that her face was positioned so she couldn't see his face flush pink. "What? No."

"Liar." Natalie teased with a smirk.

* * *

 _Reviews are love, and I'm always open to hearing what people want to see. :)_


	4. Chapter 4

Natalie woke up some time later to find that at some point during their nap, she had snuggled more closely into Joe's body, and he had wrapped his free arm around her. When she raised up her head to look at him, she realized he was already awake.

Which meant he was consciously and willingly holding her. Natalie wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Hey."

"Hi. How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes." Joe realized he was still holding onto her while she was awake and dropped his arm quickly. "How do you feel now?"

"Everything hurts." Natalie moaned, wiggling around on the floor trying to get comfortable.

"We have got to get up and move." Joe said.

"What did you have in mind? Jazzercise?" Natalie snorted.

"Let's start by standing up."

Slowly, Joe and Natalie helped each other to their feet. They attempted to stretch out, but they reached toward the floor at the same time.

And they whacked their heads together.

"Ow. Fuck." Joe said, grasping his head.

Natalie rubbed the top of her head with a wince. "Yeah, that wasn't the smartest thing we've ever done."

"We're going to have to move together."

"Like how?"

"Let's dance." Joe suggested.

Natalie scoffed. "You must be joking."

"It doesn't have to be fancy. Just… Like this."

Joe put his free hand on the small of Natalie's back and pulled her closer to him. He laced the fingers of their handcuffed hands together and held them to his chest. Natalie rested her free hand uncertainly on his shoulder, and they moved together in a circle.

"This is awkward as hell without music." Natalie complained.

"Well, I could sing for you. Who's your favorite?"

Natalie smirked. "Are you asking which favorite musician's work I'd like you to slaughter for me?"

"Ouch. Fine, if you won't pick one, I will. How about Billy Joel?"

"Makes sense that you'd pick that one. Fellow Bronx kid."

Joe looked surprised. "I never told you I was from the Bronx."

"Have you heard yourself talk?" Natalie laughed.

"Ouch again."

"Besides… I had access to your personnel file for a long time. I know a _lot_ more about you than you realize."

"Care to share?"

"No, I have to keep what I know to myself until I need it. Go ahead and try the singing."

"This night is mine… It's only you and I…" Joe sang softly and close to Natalie's ear. "Tomorrow is a long time away… This night can last forever…"

"Perfect choice of song." Natalie chuckled as soon as she realized what song he was singing. "This night has lasted forever."

"It could be morning now. Who the hell knows?"

"When I pictured ways this riot could go, us slow dancing together in handcuffs while you sang a Billy Joel song in my ear wasn't one of them." Natalie commented with a shake of her head.

"Stiletto would be a good choice for you." Joe changed tunes and began singing the other song. "She cuts you hard, she cuts you deep, she's got so much skill… She's so fascinating that you're still there waiting when she comes back for the kill."

"That one really needs a piano to do it justice." Natalie pointed out.

"I never realized how high your stilettos really are." Joe brushed a stray curl out of her face as they continued to dance around the floor. "You're not at eye level with me when they're off. I actually have to look down at you, just a little bit."

"I can put them back on if it makes you feel more comfortable when I'm giving off a more threatening vibe."

"It's certainly more familiar to me." Joe smirked.

They danced without for a few minutes, with Joe softly humming a tune Natalie couldn't name in the background. Their slow, gentle movements and the hum of his throat was calming and peaceful.

Until Natalie screamed.

"A MOUSE! Kill it!" Natalie shrieked, pointing at a small, furry grey animal on the floor.

Joe quickly turned, startled, and laughed when he saw the tiny mouse. "You're seriously afraid of mice?"

"They're disgusting! What's in here that you can kill it with?"

"So, you want a dead mouse in here with us?"

"Better than a live one!"

"He's gone. You probably scared the shit out of him by screaming. He crawled through that hole right there." Joe said, pointing to the wall.

"He probably has a whole family in there." Natalie shuddered.

"They're just mice."

"I'm starting to get claustrophobic. I was okay for a while, but we've been in here too long, and I'm starting to freak out."

"Have you always been claustrophobic?"

"I had to have an MRI when I was injured playing basketball in high school. I thought they were going to leave me in there, and I've had claustrophobia at times ever since."

"Nat, just relax." Joe chuckled. "This is a castle compared to the Poo."

"What if they never let us out?"

"They'll let us out. Worst case scenario, someone finds us when the riot's over."

"What if they don't think to check the closets, and we die in here, and our bodies get eaten by the mice?"

"I think the lack of real sleep and food are going to your head." Joe said gently. "You're being ridiculous. You know they'll sweep the entire place multiple times."

Natalie sank down to the floor, pulling Joe down beside her. She drew her knees up to her chest and rested her face against them.

"Nat?" Joe's tone went from amused to concerned. He'd never seen Natalie be afraid of anything. "Are you okay?"

"No. I'm really about to lose it."

* * *

 _Songs mentioned/quoted are by Billy Joel… No infringement intended. They were "This Night" and "Stiletto." Look them up on YouTube and have a listen._


	5. Chapter 5

"Focus on me." Joe ran his hand up and down Natalie's arm. "Look at me."

Natalie lifted her head. "Your face doesn't exactly come to mind when I think of being calm. All we do is fight or fuck. Or sometimes both at the same time."

"You just need a distraction."

"That's hard in a dark, cinder-block closet."

Joe thought for a moment. "Have you ever played Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

"Not since Adam Edelbaum's bar mitzvah party." Natalie tried to take slow, deep breaths. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Instead of answering, Joe brushed his fingers under Natalie's chin and tipped her face up to his. His lips pressed against hers, softly at first. A jolt went through her body as his tongue eased between her lips, seeking hers and twining with it in increasing urgency.

Joe had never actually _kissed_ her before – not like that. They'd done some kinky things that would have earned them decent money had they been porn stars instead of prison wardens. He'd had his mouth on just about every inch of her body from the neck down, but _not_ her lips. They had adhered unofficially to the Pretty Woman logic of kissing on the mouth being too personal, intimate, and romantic for their sex-focused affair.

The kissing was familiar and new at the same time. There was a palpable shift between them. When Joe finally released her, she was left staring at him, dazed and speechless.

Joe smirked, caressing the side of her face. "If I would have known that kissing you is the only way to shut you up, then I would have tried it months ago."

"I…" Natalie faltered breathlessly.

"I don't know what it is, but there's just… Something about you. You drive me absolutely fucking crazy, but…" Joe ran his free hand up through her curls, tangling it in them and tugging, and interrupted himself by pulling her face back to his to pick up where he left off.

She knew _exactly_ what he meant, as she too felt inexplicably drawn to him even though she couldn't stand him at times. Maybe even most of the time. But it never stopped her from wanting to banter with him, to talk to him, and to feel him inside her.

Natalie climbed onto Joe's lap without breaking the connection between their lips, and he slid his hands up her hips, pulling her pencil skirt up a bit so that she could straddle him more easily. She leaned forward against him, pushing the back of his head into the wall. She sucked one of his lips into her mouth and nipped at it.

"You do like to bite." Joe groaned against her mouth.

"You love it." Natalie whispered, grinding herself against him.

Joe had just pushed the black satin of her panties aside with his untethered hand when the knob rattled and the door to the closet was yanked open. Natalie's instinct was to try to jump apart, but being shackled to each other would have made it impossible. Joe gripped her hips to keep her from moving so that her body blocked the bulge in his boxers.

Taystee stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, staring at them disapprovingly while they looked up at her sheepishly.

"Well, well, well. It looks like you two are getting along just fine now. Let's get back to it."

Joe cleared his throat. "Could we maybe have five more minutes?"

Taystee narrowed her eyebrows. "Fuck no."

"Fine." Joe sighed. "We're coming."

"Not now, we aren't." Natalie muttered as they stumbled to their feet. "I think we only had about two minutes left, anyway."

"Two minutes of what?" Joe asked in confusion.

"Of our 'Seven Minutes in Heaven.'" Natalie smirked.

"I'll show you what I can do to you in seven full minutes another time." Joe said, playfully grabbing her ass as they finally walked out of the closet together.

* * *

 _One chapter left for this one. :)_


	6. Chapter 6

Hours later, Joe and Natalie were slumped in their chairs in the emergency response trailer. Natalie pushed away the emptied takeout boxes that had been brought in so they could finally eat and laid her head down on the table.

"I can't fucking believe Taystee just fucking threw it all away. After all of that." Natalie was still seething, even in her exhaustion. "She could have made some real changes."

"I know." Joe rubbed his reddened eyes. "I thought she was smarter than that."

Natalie sighed. "Are we allowed to go now?"

They'd lost count of the number of people who had questioned them – the police, the governor, MCC officials, the press – it had seemed never ending.

"I think so. I'm just too tired to move."

Natalie yawned and stood up, stretching. "Well, I'm going to go then. Maybe I can make it home before 1 a.m."

"You don't need to drive back to Albany at this hour when you're this exhausted." Joe chided her.

"Well, that's where I live."

"You could just stay with me."

Natalie waved her hand at him dismissively. "I'll be fine."

"After this hell we've been through… I'd kind of appreciate the company." Joe said quietly.

Natalie understood what he meant. Driving an hour and a half back to Albany after the nightmare they'd just been through wasn't appealing to her, especially knowing that she was going back to huge, empty house that had never been "home."

But, she'd never stayed with Joe either. Every time they had sex at his place, she quickly got out of his bed, got dressed, and left almost immediately. There was no hugging, no cuddling, and definitely no sleeping in the same bed.

She hated that she liked the thought of sleeping next to him.

"You haven't had enough of my company by now?" The corners of Natalie's mouth twitched.

"You can't bother me too much while you're asleep… Unless you snore." Joe teased.

"I do NOT snore." Natalie replied indignantly.

"I think we're fine then."

"Well, if you need me to come over and scare the monsters out from under your bed tonight, I guess I can do that for you."

Joe rolled his eyes. "Come on. Let's get out of this hellhole."

Natalie followed Joe outside. Their hands, unbound for hours by that point, naturally gravitated back toward each other as they walked toward the parking lot. The backs of their fingers brushed against each other's, and their hands eventually joined and laced together, and they walked hand in hand.

They both always denied being the first one to take the other's hand.

Even years later, even when their hands were adorned with wedding bands and clasped together as Natalie brought their newborn son into the world, they would never admit who had grabbed whose hand first the day they walked out of Litchfield together.

For good.

* * *

 _There, a nice, sappy ending because the real world sucks, and I like my endings happy._ _I will be continuing the other stories, but not as quickly… This one was much more lighthearted and easier to write than Emergency Contacts. Thank you for reading._


End file.
